Santa Claus and the AI


Nine hundred and ninety-six thousand, nine hundred and ninety-seven thousand, ... Santa Claus is monitoring the download numbers for his WichtelApp on his Xmas Book in live mode. Ever since he presented the idea of matching Preloved Presents with wish lists to numerous investors as part of the FlyUSA program in New York, a veritable run on the app has broken out. Nine hundred and ninety-eight thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand ... Suddenly everyone wanted to be part of the Christmas sustainability movement. Since then, Mark Salztal can't get enough of promoting the app on Fakebook, Elon Dusk is xittering his fingers sore and Matthias Schlaumann is pinning Santa's success on his flags in his countless promotional videos. One million ...

Santa swallows. One million downloads. He should be happy, but instead an unpleasant feeling spreads through the pit of his stomach. How were they going to handle this on top of their regular Christmas business? Their resources were exhausted, the gift workshop was bursting at the seams, and the elves' overtime list was worrisome. A thud snaps Claus out of his thoughts. "Santa ..." Hafffu, hafffu. "Have you seen ..."  Hafffu, hafffu. "A mill ..." Hafffu, hafffu. "Yes, I've seen it." Santa closes his eyes as he touches the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger and gestures for the panting Knecht Ruprecht to sit down. "We need to do something quickly. New Preloved Presents are arriving every second. I don't know how much longer we can keep up this pace." Hafffu. Just as Ruprecht returns to his normal breathing rate, the elf lady Marie and the archangel Gabriel burst into Santa's office. Behind them is an elf, staggering awkwardly.

"We have good news!" The two of them almost shout with excitement. "cBay and willbesitzen have just signed the cooperation agreements. There will soon be interfaces to the WichtelApp. And Mamazon CRIME also wants to provide resources and connect us to their influencer program. But we need your GO for this!" Santa undoes the buttons on his coat and wipes his beaded forehead with the back of his hand. Ever since he turned down Sepp Kezos' offer to invest in the Big Apple, the billionaire entrepreneur – who, according to his investment manager, describes himself as a kind of Santa Claus – has been coming up with new ideas to do business with Christmas Inc. So far, he has always declined with thanks. However, they could really use the WoMenpower of Mamazon CRIME right now. Santa leans back, crosses his arms, and wrinkles his forehead, his reading glasses almost slipping off the end of his nose.

"And who is this here?" Claus points to the somewhat awkward elf hiding behind Marie and Gabriel. "Oh, this is Rob #X1 – a prototype. I printed him in our 3D printer. A few more updates and hopefully we can go into production soon." Marie can't hide her pride and grins from ear to ear. Claus scratches his head, his eyes darting back and forth between the young elf and the clumsy cyber elf. "To support Findus and his fellow elves," Ruprecht explains, immediately recognizing the confusion in Santa's expression. "Ah, of course!" Santa looks relieved, but is secretly annoyed that he is once again behind his digitization team.

"However, this alone is not the solution to our logistics problem. We need more space and new processes to get back on track," says Claus. "Not to mention the enormous additional workload for the wish list translation office and the communications department at the Christmas post office. They now also have to prepare the descriptions of the Preloved Presents and update the list of gift ideas in the WichtelApp. That's more than 10,000 extra hours of work that we now have to do." With a jolt, Knecht Ruprecht jumps up and storms out of the meeting room. "I'll take care of the space problem!"

Archangel Gabriel searches his coat pockets. Again and again he reaches into the many inside and outside pockets, alternating between his left and right hand, until he finally finds what he is looking for and pulls out his XmasPhone. He taps it briefly and shows the screen to Marie and then Claus with quick movements. "Have you ever heard of ChatCIS? It's a ..." "A communications intelligence system that represents a breakthrough in artificial intelligence and digital communications," Santa interrupts. "As a platform based on advanced algorithms and neural networks, CIS is designed to improve the effectiveness and naturalness of human-like interactions in digital environments." Marie and Gabriel look at Santa with open mouths and raised eyebrows. "Huh ...? But ...? How...?" Claus can't help but grin, enjoys this moment of cluelessness for a moment, and then reports that he's been in contact with pretono founder Martin Behrlin since his FlyUSA pitch in New York. In the meantime, the presentation expert had established himself as a specialist for "large language models" and regularly informed about the latest developments in artificial intelligence in his newsletter.

"If we use ChatCIS correctly, it could be the solution to relieve the wish list translation office and the communications department at the Christmas post office of repetitive tasks." Gabriel starts a demonstration when Claus' XmasBook suddenly rings. It's Champagna Zisch from CocaRola. Santa clicks the green FaceTime acceptance button, and before he can say good morning, the shrill voice of the marketing manager reaches his ears. "Santa, I know you're a busy man, so let me get right to the point. Your presentation in New York was very well received by CocaRola. We would like to integrate the WichtelApp with the Prevloved Presents into our Metaverse and, in addition to the virtual gift exchange, offer the ability to order these gifts with the click of a mouse. Of course, we are willing to adjust our investment accordingly. How much will you need?" Claus looks helpfully at Gabriel, who is already estimating the costs with the help of his XmasPhone. "We'll need at least another 400,000 XmasDollars," the archangel replies. "Well, that shouldn't be a problem. Please come to our headquarters today to discuss the details." Champagna Zisch ends the conversation without saying goodbye. Claus, Marie and Gabriel stare at the now black screen. Gabriel is the first to regain his voice. "Claus, you fly to CocaRola. Marie and I will contact Martin Behrlin for a ChatCIS seminar. We'll meet back here tonight for an update." Santa takes a deep breath, nods slowly, and makes his way to the sled area, where the unloved Tekla XAE-12 is hanging on the charging station. A blast of icy air hits him. "Five more minutes," Ruprecht calls to him as he polishes the rear window with a microfiber cloth, exhaling a small white cloud of breath with every movement of his arm.

Rather than wait in the cold, Claus decides to take a quick look around the gift workshop. He squeezes through the winding corridor, opens the heavy wooden door, and even as he hears someone yell "Noooo", he is buried under a mountain of presents. "Santa, are you all right?" Findus reaches out to help Claus to his feet. "Santa, it can't go on like this. We have to do something before this place literally collapses." Findus looks at his boss with pleading eyes. "I'm afraid I have to go now. We'll talk about it when I get back tonight." "If only, then it's not too late ..."

Santa Claus is already on his way back to the sleigh site and can only hear his chief elf's last words echoing in the distance. He clumsily climbs into his Tekla XAE-12, rubs his cold hands, and presses the autopilot. Slowly, he finds his way around the absurd sled – and even though he would never admit it to his colleagues, the heated seats were a real treat. A short time later, he lands in front of the CocaRola headquarters in Atlanta. A reception committee of several people is already waiting for Claus to escort him into the boardroom. They move quickly through the massive glass lobby, past the Christmas truck, which Claus already knows from the numerous commercials he has shot with CocaRola in recent years. But he doesn't have time to look at the vehicle and the numerous exhibits of oversized CocaRola statues. Claus has to keep up with his delegation. After about five minutes of rushing through long corridors and using several glass elevators to reach the top floors, Claus is allowed to take a seat at an oversized conference table. With a soft sigh, he drops into one of the free-swinging chairs. Before he can even examine the pile of beverage cans in front of him, a thick stack of paper lands on the dark brown mahogany table.

"Santa Claus, how nice of you to come so quickly." In her red costume, the marketing manager almost looks like a member of the Christmas family. Claus wonders if that was her intention. Before he can think about it further, Champagna Zisch hands him a heavy Montnoir pen with her initials engraved on it. "Sign here, here, here, and here!" She taps various parts of the document with her index finger, then immediately hands him another stack. "And here, here, and here, please." Claus is overwhelmed. "I thought we were going to discuss the details first?" "No time, we need to get started right away so we can maximize the ROI in the current Christmas season. All we need is your abbreviation here and here." Santa starts to sweat. He should have taken his legal elf Justus with him. Why did he always end up alone in these situations? What was this ROI again? He had come across this abbreviation somewhere before. Now he had to trust that CocaRola, as a long-time partner of Christmas Inc., had the best of intentions. Claus places his three crosses and looks into the face of a beaming Champagna Zisch. "Fantastic, so the integration of the WichtelApp into our metaverse is a done deal. My assistant will send you a copy of the contract." She grabs the pile of documents and disappears from the meeting room as quickly as she arrived.

"In this season of love and cheer, AI, keep your distance, disappear!" "Christmas magic, pure and bright, AI, keep your distance, out of sight!“ Santa pricks up his ears. He is about to land at North Pole 1 when the shouts penetrate the cockpit of the Tekla XAE-12. Claus quickly glances out the window. A crowd of elves has gathered outside the gift workshop. The Christmas helpers rhythmically thrust hand-painted signs into the air, while their leader keeps shouting new slogans through a megaphone. "For hands that hold and hearts that beat, no room for robots, that's our feat!" "No robotic glare, no icy tone, our joy is real, and that's well-known!" "We unite for love, for depth and feeling, robots out, for true meaning!"

Claus climbs out of his vehicle as fast as he can and dashes from the sledding area to the gift shop. "Findus, what's going on?" Visibly torn, the head elf breaks away from the crowd. "Santa, I'm sorry. You know I'm always on your side, but in this case I have to agree with my fellow elves." "You have to agree with them about what?" Claus can't help the tremor in his voice. "That things can't go on like this. Thanks to the WichtelApp, we're literally drowning in a flood of Preloved Presents, and now we've learned that we're going to be working with robot elves and artificial intelligence in the future. Digitization is all well and good, but it's gone too far. The magic of Christmas is threatened by all this technology and fast, impersonal progress. Claus can see the concern in Findus' eyes. He sits down on the hand-carved wooden bench in front of the gift workshop and takes a moment to digest the words.

A few moments later, he is torn from his thoughts again. "Santa, you have to come with us right now!" Santa hadn't even seen Marie and Gabriel coming. "Come on, you have to come with us, quickly!" Before Claus can react, the two have strapped on his speed skis and are gesturing for him to follow them. Once again, Claus has to hurry. He can hardly wait for this day to be over. Even though Claus is a really good skier, he can barely keep up with them. As he swings down in front of the Christmas Innovation Center, Marie and Gabriel have already stowed their speed skis safely away in the ski depot. As he gets out of his skis, he gets a short briefing from the two of them. Claus nods in agreement and Marie quietly opens the front door. The trio carefully sneaks to the far end of the long, brightly lit corridor. To avoid being discovered, they have to crawl the last few meters under a window wall on all fours. When they finally arrive, they squeeze into a corner. "Shhh!" With a quick movement, Marie brings her index finger to her mouth, then taps her left ear.  

" We've had enough! No one asks us what we want or if we have any suggestions for improvement. From now on, we're on strike." As if rehearsed, Wunscharia from the wish list translation office, Korresponda from the Christmas post office's communications department, and Präsentia from the gift workshop all crossed their arms over their hearts at the same moment. "You should hold your secret meetings of the elves in a hidden place. To maintain discretion, you could integrate encrypted codes into your communication. An appropriate secret sign to announce the next meeting might also come in handy. For example, you could put your hats on back to front". Santa can't believe what he just heard. Is Berufung Bürgertum guru Matthias Schlaumann actually giving his elves some kind of union advice? "To make your demands known, you could plan an elf protest parade during the break, a musical strike flash mob, or a Christmas blockade of the gift workshop. Feel free to book a workshop with me and I'll teach you how to present your demands in a confident and unified manner." Santa has heard enough. "That bastard! Sales, sales, sales is probably the only thing on his mind." He motions for Marie and Gabriel to leave. They will deal with Schlaumann later. For now, the well-being of the elves comes first.  

When Claus, Marie and Gabriel arrive in the meeting room at the headquarters of Christmas Inc., sky porter Petrus is already waiting for them. " Those up there sent me." He shakes his head and holds a crumpled piece of paper in front of them. "If we don't act fast, that's it for us, and those up there will take over the Christmas business." "The Christmas wish list: Demands for a Working Life Worthy of Elves!?“ Marie reads the title on the note in disbelief and looks at Petrus questioningly. "Those up there got wind of the flood of presents and sent a labor inspector. He discovered the note in the wrapping paper station."

  1. Elves Part-Time: 30-hour work week with ten percent more pay to have more time for relaxation, family and personal interests. 
  2. Elves Meditation: Three extra five-minute breaks a day to reduce stress with a trained meditation elf.
  3. Elves Wellness Program: Christmas spa with hot tub, sauna and massage table to unwind after work.
  4. Elves Stumble Insurance: Stumble money for any unexpected obstacle in the form of a gift. 
  5. Elves Candy Cane Provision: Free dental care and sugar-free alternatives during working hours. 
  6. Elves Fashion Grant: For festive work attire during the holidays. 
  7. Elves Christmas Magic: Craftsmanship is craftsmanship. Robots and AI have no place in the Christmas business.

Marie turns the note around. 

  • December 20: Art installation of handmade gifts for the workshop blockade 
  • December 21: Anti-AI rap battle instead of Christmas work music 
  • December 22: String competition to slow down the robots 
  • December 23: Christmas cookie sit-in with a sweet baking station
  • December 24: Wrapping party with gas balloons instead of wrapping paper

"This is a strike countdown." Marie hands the note to Santa. The meeting room of the Xmas digitization team suddenly becomes disturbingly quiet. Claus, Peter and Marie stare at the letter in silence for several minutes. Claus thinks he can hear his own heart beating. Suddenly, Gabriel's busy typing breaks the silence. His fingers almost fly over the keyboard of Claus' XmasBook. "Let's see what ChatCIS can do!" With a theatrical gesture, Gabriel presses the enter key. Petrus, Claus and Marie gather behind the archangel and now also look intently at the screen, on which texts, tables and lines of code now appear as if by magic. "Martin showed us how to write a megaprompt in his ChatCIS seminar." Gabriel points to the extensive instructions he entered to generate the AI text. "This is where I had ideas worked out for optimizing our workflows and logistics processes. ChatCIS also created a CSS code for an interactive presentation to get the elves back on track. All we have to do is copy the code into our presentation software, make a few small adjustments and send it out via a shared link."

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Claus gives the go-ahead, and a few minutes later, the smartphones of the entire Christmas Inc. are buzzing. With the help of an analysis tool, the Xmas digitization team watches as the elves click through the introductory video on the topic of "Support, not replacement," which Gabriel created using the video AI tool Symphonia, the logistics simulations "Efficiency and Relief," the best practice examples "Tradition and Modernity in Harmony," and the knowledge quiz "Opportunities through Innovation." Without saying a word, Petrus, Claus, Gabriel and Marie stare at the screen. After about an hour, the opening rate of the presentation is almost 100 percent. Claus can't stand the tension any longer. He jumps up and runs through the winding corridors to the gift workshop. He opens the door with a flourish. Surrounded by thousands of Preloved Presents, he finds his team of elves gathered there, looking at him expectantly.

"My dear, faithful elves." Once again, Claus cannot suppress the tremor in his voice. "I stand here today not only as your Santa Claus, but as someone who understands your worries and fears. All the innovations, from the WichtelApp to ChatCIS to the robot elves, can make you feel that our beloved Christmas magic is in danger. But I assure you: It won't happen, because we will..." "Santa, we believe you." Findus skillfully jumps from present to present until he reaches Claus. He stands on a particularly large package so that he can look Santa straight in the eye. "The message of your presentation has reached us. We will use ChatCIS to relieve our colleagues in the wish list translation office and in the communications department at the Christmas post office of repetitive tasks. And if Marie can really print more robot elves in her 3D printer, we'll station them in the packaging department to automate the process and make more room for creativity and craftsmanship in the gift workshop. But look around! There's no room for all the Preloved Presents coming in every minute." "Yes, there is!" Knecht Ruprecht makes his way through the crowd of elves. "From now on we not only have Preloved Presents Matching interfaces to cBay, willbesitzen and Mamazon CRIME with the WichtelApp, we are also connected to their warehouse and shipping logistics. I have already provided our packaging samples as a reference. The gift workshop is once again reserved exclusively for our craftsmanship." Ruprecht bows mischievously to the team of elves, who immediately burst into cheers. Santa hats fly high into the air, and the elves hug each other joyfully. Claus pats his faithful companion on the shoulder. "Well, there's only one thing left to say: Meeeeeeeerry Christmas!"

If you feel like diving into the world of ChatGPT & Co. like Santa Claus and his team, we have some helpful information on the most important basics. We'll also tell you how to get the most out of this exciting tool for marketing and sales. Click your way in!

By the way: Here you can relive the first two adventures of Santa Claus and his friends. Have fun with it!

👉🎅🏻🚀 The digitization of Christmas

👉🎅🏻💻 Santa Claus and the Metaverse